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SHAVONNE
Fourteen.
Sometimes things happen when you least expect it.

No Boundaries - Kris Allen


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you can remove this if you don't have a conscience. i assure you i will not hunt you down.
skin by: Jane
Friday, February 29, 2008 @ Friday, February 29, 2008

great. just GREAT.





thanks A LOT. really. THANKS. a LOT.
[rolls eyeballs]





fyi, NO ONE. and im telling you. NO ONE controls my life.
except God, that is.
forcing me wont help.
avoiding her wont help.
doing nothing WILL help.
so just fish up and DON'T try to help.



yeahyeah. im pissed.
WOW. it's SO obvious.
i don't need your sympathy.
i don't need your tears.


it's like i was torn into pieces again and again and at the same time, youre pulling me apart.
you think it's a very nice feeling? NO.


so you think what?
tears will help?
tears will earn 'friends'
tears will earn __ BACK?!

NO.
you think it's very nice? you think it's very nice being in the middle, being pulled again and again? getting crushed again and again?

think again.


you think it's very nice to have a weekend and a birthday to think about it?
you think it will just go away after all the tears?
it's still gonna remain in there forever.
no matter how hard you try.

can't you give me time?
can't you spare a thought for people whom you care for?
if you do really care, why are you doing this?



you won't know how i feel.
having that sympathetic look wont help
all your hard work has gone down the drain.
why?
whywhywhywhywhy?


it's MY decision.
i didn't even CONSULT you to help me.
so whatthefish?

okay maybe you say im petty and i bear grudges. YES i do.
and i admit it.
so im sorry if i can't be that close, but I FREAKING BEAR GRUDGES. so accept me for who i am or just fish off.



you can save your hugs, tears and whatever.
i don't need them.
i just need to know if you'll be there for me no matter what happens, no matter what the outcome.
yes you care for me. but youre not doing the right thing.

put yourself in my shoes.
if you think it's okay to be like that, then i don't even care if i change bodies, mentality or whatever with you.
but if you don't think it's a very nice position to be in, then PLEASE. do it for me.
just stop.
please.
im begging you.



is it me? or is it just plain YOU?
you know i felt so freaking pissed?
you think the tears were because i wanted sympathy?
you think they were for YOU to notice me?
you think i liked the tears?

the tears were tears of anger.
i didn't need you to talk to me.
i didn't need your sympathy.

yeahyeah, you know me.
you think it's very nice to see you shed tears all the time?
aren't YOU a little too petty?
are you sure youre a sec 1?


yes im being very direct here.
but i have to let my feelings out.
i just can't stand YOU, you know that?
yeah, so maybe THEY'LL tell you.
then you'll cry.again.
just to tell you, i don't like petty people.

and i hate myself.
because im petty.
so don't you think i love myself.
im not a fanatic of Shavonne Tan Yen Ling.

you think my life is very peaceful?
i only love Sundays.
i get to praise God and be with REAL friends.
friends who actually CARE and are sensitive to others' feelings.
can't you be like that?

why you making me so stressed out?
im already having a hard time coping with my studies and youre still trying to make trouble for me?

you think im like you?
you think i have THAT many tuitions?
NO. i don't even have TIME.
im running short of time and youre still stressing me out.


can't you just LET ME DECIDE?
it's my life youre handling.
if you want to help, then try to be ME and you'll understand.

my life is very fragile.
you break something, you break the rest.
it's like glass.
you drop it,
it breaks.
thats how fragile my life is.
no matter how much glue or tape you put, the line will still be there.
the broken pieces can still be seen.

so please.
spare a thought for me.





oh and all the you's are different.
so don't think it's all YOU.
cause there are other YOUs which is not YOU.







it's MY decision.